The Editor’s Bitch // 08

At last it’s February again and women’s hearts beat faster! With a little luck, our significant others will send a large bunch of red roses to the office for Valentine’s Day, so that everyone from the parcel carrier to the boss will know what a happy, passionate relationship we have. Perhaps the pickings will be a bit more paltry and the beloved just takes us out to a nice place so that we can reassure one another over a candlelight dinner that we have a happy, passionate relationship. And if we have been too stupid to hook up with a great romanticist, hopefully we have built up enough pressure so that we at least get a new kitchen appliance that reminds us every day of how adept we are at baking our very own happy, passionate relationship.

Let’s be serious now, ladies. First of all the church comes out of nowhere with some kind of saintly Valentine, who they no longer even officially commemorate,

and still some customs spring up worldwide and no one really knows what they actually have to do with romantic love and, in the end, as often claimed by heretics, it turns out it was a clever florist who thought up the whole pile of crap – thus creating the general conditions for happy, passionate relationships. Epic!

So it’s going to be exciting again on the 14th. All these people caught up in boring and inconsequential relationships suddenly expect proof of love; a mere ‘I love you’ would be denigrated as pure mockery, but there should be a bit more appreciation. And as these expectations can’t be met anywhere in any way, marital bliss is once again out the window – for everyone except florists.